Since my last post dealt with high school, I felt the need to take another trip down memory lane. this time I wanted to go back to a conversation with a friend I had in class. I’m pretty foggy about the details but it dealt with a book that she read that described all of the archetypical male roles that women fall for and why they do.
Here are the ones I remember:
The “G” : The gangsta/ bad boy type. Their tough exterior probably provides the sense of security to women.
The Sweet talker: These guys have the best “game.” They know how to talk to women in a way that boost their self-esteem or at least arouse them.
The workaholic: The financial provider. Their drive to be successful and financially stable is never a bad thing.
Mr. Sensitive: Everybody’s favorite go to guy when times get tough. You can always come to him when you need that emotional support.
There may be more but I’ve long since forgotten. I do remember this though each of these types of men lack something. It is only by combining the good qualities of each trait does a man become the total package or as my friend likes to say “The Renaissance Man.” Strong like the “G,” mentally sexy like the Sweet talker, a provider like the workaholic, and supportive like the sensitive man. As nice as it may be to be considered the “Total Package,” it probably isn’t gonna happen for me, but still it is good to have something to aspire to.
If anybody out there in the interweb has any idea what book my friend could have been talking about leave me a comment, or at least wish me luck in becoming the fabled Renaissance Man.
As I near the end of my teenaged years, I look back on the 2 girls I feel in love with. I don’t know if it was just the high school hormones or if I saw something in each of them that I felt fulfilled what my heart. I’m assuming the latter. These girls were the polar opposites and yet they both had something the other lacked. The first one was of the Type B variety, the other the quintessential Type A. If I found a girl that was the right balance of the two, I might be in pretty good shape relationship wise.
I won’t use their names, so I’ll call them A and B. B was my first love and my favorite too (Don’t tell A). I met her the summer before my junior year. She had nearly all of the qualities to be one of the greats, but the things that made her my favorite were: the fact that she doesn’t fall for game or smooth talking, and she was more into what is at the core of a person. From a physical standpoint she had the natural look I admire and when ever we kissed, I can’t explain the taste but I remember that it was like the sweetest I’ve ever tasted. I thought she could have been the one, but as time went on, I noticed something was missing. I felt a gap growing between us and it was being made be the things she wouldn’t or couldn’t tell me. I was besides myself in frustration, because I was completely honest and affectionate to her, but still I couldn’t get her to stop holding back her feelings. I’m the kind of person that believes in a relationship a person needs to know what they are doing whether it is good or bad. Without that communication there is no direction for the couple, meaning there can be no growth. You either grow together or you grow apart.
A is another story. About 3 or 4 months after my break up with B I met A at a fundraiser. Went on dates and hung out for about a month before I made things official. I went into this relationship with no expectations. I figured I liked her sense of humor and she seemed like a nice girl, so making her my girlfriend was the natural thing to do. Little did I know this was only the honeymoon period. Things were going pretty good for us as a couple, we communicated, something I lacked with B. Things started to turn sour right around the time I started college. I gained the dreaded freshman 15 and all of a sudden it seemed like my weight gain insulted her. This should’ve been a red flag, but you know what they say “love is blind.” From then on it seemed like a power struggle between us on who gets to control MY life. I still learned a lot from that relationship. Sometimes you need to get what don’t want to realize what you wanted to begin with.